Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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