i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
