yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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