today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
