WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
