just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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