Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
