ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
