i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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