My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize