What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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