Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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