Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
