Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
