Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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