Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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