i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I cut my penus on the lid.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
