I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize