How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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