New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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