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My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My breasts were aching with rage.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
