It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
