would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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