im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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