More tranny stories later!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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