i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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