I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
