never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
