Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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