I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
