Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
