Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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