He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
