Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
