I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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