Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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