I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize