Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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