i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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