Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
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