sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
