Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize