either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
