So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
