I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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