Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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