We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
