She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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