you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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