Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
