I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Randomize
