No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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