so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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