I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
