he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
