i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize