No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
