Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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