Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
