new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
