yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize