i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize