That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
