Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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