Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
