I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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